Essential to the game of love and sexual attraction is flirting. The reason that this is so important can be traced to Peer Group Pressure and Fear of Rejection. Ask yourself this question: “Why are so many men and women terrified of rejection.” There are seven billion or more people on this planet. Why should you care if a few people reject your advances there’s always a few billion more. The reason is Peer Group Evaluation or Peer Group Pressure. (Continued at the bottom of this page)
Female Body Language Flirting
Female Body Language Flirting
THE HAIR PREEN
Women with long hair often twirl or play with it out of habit but It’s also a sign of nervous or playful arousal. It’s used to attract a man’s attention or to show him that his masculinity is attractive to her. This signal is sometimes confused with hair tugging which actually indicates the opposite – intense discomfort and a desire to be somewhere else. In this case the hair is “jerked” and forcibly pulled. When a woman preens her hair the motions are slower and luxurious. The hair is stroked and twirled in a sensual fashion.
THE CLOSER LOOK
This is a very obvious female sex signal and translated means – “You’re worth a closer look and I want you to know I’m looking.” In the image to the left the woman has also opened her mouth with a hint of the “I’m ready to be kissed / You’ve taken my breath away” gesture. This is a fairly common signal at daytime parties or by the poolside where more subtle signals may well be missed. It works best with sunglasses that actually make things harder to see but can work with ordinary reading glasses. Her hand movement attracts the man’s attention.
THE GLAMOUR POSE
Arching her back to emphasise her bottom and flexibility (youth), pushing her breasts forward and playing with her luxurious hair, the model to the right is exaggerating normally subtle signals into large movements and dramatic sexual gestures. This is most often used by a woman where the male target is a fair distance away or where she wants absolutely no doubt about what is on her mind. Exaggerated body language is often seen at large gatherings or public spaces like a beach were simple “quieter” signals are often unnoticed.
THE LIP LICK
As a sex signal this is pure dynamite and one to which men often overreact Woman lick their lips for two reasons – they’re either dry or she’s sexually interested. Let’s skip the psycho-babble about moist genitals and clitoral stimulation and go to the facts. If a woman places her tongue at the corner of her mouth and then sensually licks her upper lip she consciously or subconsciously wants you to know she’s getting very interested. It doesn’t mean she wants the man to launch himself over the table and onto her but it does mean “don’t be a dummy – even you can’t miss this.”
I’M WIDE OPEN
Context is an important consideration when both using and evaluating this signal. Many women would never consider sitting in this way if they were wearing a dress. From childhood females are taught that the correct way to sit is with their legs together so one must assume that the decision to sit with legs apart is a strong and sexually aggressive signal. However, if she’s just been on a five mile hike it may well be more about comfort than sexuality. It is believed to indicate that a woman is opening her legs to indicate willing.
MY LOVELY ASS
The female bottom, both amongst primates and humans, holds a fierce attraction for males. Buttock augmentation is rapidly becoming common cosmetic surgery particularly in countries where a curvy bottom is considered a woman’s sexiest attribute (Brazil for example). This signal is done by placing one hand on the hip to pull the fabric taught across her cheeks and then half turning away so that the man can appreciate the shape and beauty of her bottom. One hand is often placed on her stomach to make it less obvious that she is also arching her back to make her bottom more prominent.
PARTED LIPS / READY TO KISS
The chin is lifted and the lips parted as if ready to be kissed. This is a serious sex signal and not one that is used casually for flirting. This is often the final signal in a progression indicating that physical contact can now take place. Some psychologists claim that by parting the lips of her mouth a woman is suggesting that she is ready to part the lips of her vagina. While at first this may sound dubious, it is interesting to note that very many women seeking a sexual partner choose lipstick that is extremely close to the colour of their labia or nipples. Coincidence?
There are basically two types of blushing. There’s the “Sexy Blush” and the “Embarrassed Blush”. They both happen because an emotional state triggers blood vessels to dilate and the cheeks are where it is most obvious. “Women draw attention to themselves by tossing or playing with their hair, tilting their heads, raising their eyebrows, giggling, or blushing.” (Encyclopedia of psychology – Alan E. Kazdin). The cosmetics industry has understood this signal since Egyptian times and one of the consistently best selling make-up items is cheek rouge or “blusher”
THE AIR KISS / PURSED LIPS
Some women have naturally “sculptured” lips and are often seen as both beautiful and desirable by the men that they meet. By pursing her lips in the way shown above a woman is essentially kissing the air. When making this gesture to a man it is both conscious and unmistakable. This is a gesture that can be made some woman and scorch the walls but done by others it just doesn’t work – particularly by those woman that have over-plumped up their lips with collagen. Some women have significantly more control over the tiny muscles of the lips than others and for these women this is “the” sex signal.
DILATED PUPILS / BELLA DONA
When shown pictures of the same people that either had the pupils of their eyes airbrushed larger or smaller, almost all people tested indicated that they felt more attracted to the pictures with the larger pupils. Most importantly, they couldn’t explain why. The reason is that our pupils dilate when we’re feeling sexually aroused. Pupils also dilate when it’s darker so perhaps that’s why candle light dinners are so romantic. English Tudors of the fifteenth century actually placed drops of deadly belladonna poison into their eyes to dilate their pupils and create the effect.
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Psychologists believe that when we were all living in much smaller communities or tribes and everyone knew everyone else, reputation naturally became everything. So, if you were known to be rejected by a person then your suitability rating was diminished. Equally, if you were accepted then your suitability rating increased. It’s quite similar to how Google ranks web pages. A link from a quality web page improves your ranking while a link from a poor quality page reduces it. The danger of being visibly rejected is that it encourages others to reject you too. In this case it’s just another form of peer pressure. A particular woman might go through the following thought process: “If Janice rejected Mike maybe there’s something wrong with him? Maybe I should reject him too just in case. Hell I don’t want to be seen with Janice’s reject anyway.”
If you think this system no longer applies then just watch how people behave at parties or nightclubs. Subconsciously, men will only approach a woman if they feel that they have more than an eighty percent chance of being accepted.
This is where flirting and sex signals become important. In a sense they are a code used between humans to test the levels of mutual attraction before visibly acting and thus risking rejection. Where people are watching and a rejection is taking place, the person doing the rejecting often exaggerates the act so that the spectators are in no doubt as to who is the loser. Sometimes seen as cruel, this is actually a form of self protection. The person doing the rejection cannot afford the peer-group doubt that they themselves might have been rejected.