We’ve had so many requests for male and female flirting tips that we’ve bowed to pressure and included a section.
Actually, it’s been quite a lot of fun to prepare as we’ve tried them out as a social experiment – and they actually work. In fact, they work too well. This is very powerful body language and both guys and girls get “very” upset (and quickly) if the “strong” flirting signals turn out to just be a tease.
BEFORE YOU EVEN START FLIRTING
Be graceful and keep moving with poise and confidence. Men are psychologically programmed to “zone-in” on this kind of movement. That’s why strippers move the way the do and don’t do techno dancing.
Look healthy – this is truly just as important as being good-looking.
Don’t lower your chin (it makes you look scared) and definitely keep your chest out. It doesn’t seem to matter if you have small breasts – it’s the posture that counts.
Women choose the men that they want to approach them by flirting – most of the time. If you want to see which men are “looking”, then watch out for the guy who is “scanning” the place. He may – be alone, with his friends or even with another woman but his eyes will periodically “sweep” the room like a radar beam. And, just like a radar beam, he is looking for a signal.
Flirting is about being noticed and that means being noticeable. There are six (6) sensible things that really make a person, especially a woman, “stand out” these are:
Colour – Don’t wear boring colours. The guy may not like what he sees but he will at least see you.
Movement – Move! Be animated. Motion attracts the eye. When people (and animals) are scared and timid they freeze. This implies that you are reluctant and unready. In short, you’re a poor opportunity for his time and efforts.
Accessibility – The single biggest mistake that women make if they want to be approached is to appear difficult to approach. Let’s be absolutely clear – no guy wants to try and “pick you up” while a group of your scornful (they weren’t approached) girlfriends watch him do his stuff. There’s a really stupid line from one of the Spice Girl’s first songs “Wannabe” – it goes, “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, make it last forever (for) friendship never ends,” Well that is fine if you’re a 14 year old girl-power comic reader but if you want to meet a man then it is very bad advice. Men, on the whole, hate your girlfriends – they’re often bitchy, cruel, jealous, critical and very definitely get in the way. Where you sit, how you position yourself and what part of the environment you are in affects how accessible you are. The less accessible, the less you’ll be approached. Recognising accessibility is also a very powerful “man-thing”. Why would they want to waste their efforts on an inaccessible female? Very Freudian!
Eye Contact – Be prepared to make eye contact with the guys you’re interested in. To do this you have to be prepared to look around too – just enough but not to much or every lame hopeful is going to be all over you. Still, no eye contact then no approaches – well not from anybody you’d be interested in.
Be Different – Well, actually you should be just different enough to stand out. If you’re at a Goth party and you’re dressed as a W.A.S.P. cheerleader (Marylin Manson – Tainted Love) then you will get noticed but possibly not in the way you wanted. Just be different enough to stand out and be seen. No guy ever approached the invisible woman.
Skin – When it comes to flirting, there’s no substitute for showing some skin. Men love skin – especially if it is smooth and unblemished. In their testosterone driven minds the equation is simple: Skin = availability. There’s been a lot of flirting psychobabble written about why this is by people who probably don’t get out enough but it is true. At a very basic level, men are programmed to look for naked skin – generally the more the better.