There are literally dozens of ways that a woman uses her body language to communicate her interest and attraction to a man. Reading female body language can be simple or complex but the real trick is recognising clusters and progressions.
The images shown on this page are some of the most reliable individual signals. However, the use of a single signal by a woman does not indicate total attraction but is rather an indicator of interest. As the individual signals become more frequent, clustered and obvious, the more interested (or desperate) is the woman. For example it’s quite common for woman in a nightclub to be subtle in her signaling early in the evening but as the night progresses and she still hasn’t attracted a man these signals can become increasingly obvious.
THE HEAD / HAIR TOSS
The human body is pretty hairless. Other than a gene manipulated cat and near extinct shrew; there are no other mammals that are as hairless as humans. (We don’t include fish, reptiles or birds in this analogy.) Long, flowing hair has always been a sign of feminine health and thus sexuality and child bearing ability. By tossing her hair a woman is essentially saying: “look at me and my suitability. I am happy, confident and very healthy!” Long hair is feminine while short hair is masculine. If this wasn’t the case why do so many (male-orientated) lesbians shave their hair as a statement?
THE LIP NIBBLE
Men are said to love this body language signal. It’s origins and the reasons why it works are still a mystery. There is nothing like the Lower Lip Nibble to subconsciously give a man an injection of pure of testosterone. The lower lip is gently gripped by the teeth and with sensual slowness allowed to slip away. Done well and without awareness this can drive a man to his knees – done badly it becomes a parody. Strangely, this is a powerful sex signal between women (lesbians) and is used by the submissive female to indicate interest in the dominant potential partner.
THE HAIR FLICK
Reading female body language has never been easier. For women, twirling or flicking their hair is a favourite flirting gesture. Why this has such an effect on men is a hotly debated subject. The ‘Definitive Book of Body Language’ (Allan and Barbara) allegedly claims that it allows a woman to expose her armpit and thus “waft” pheromones to the man. (Huh?) Another explanation is that it is a casual way of exposing her neck – a well known erogenous zone. Some researchers even claim it attracts attention to her “healthy” hair. We admit it – we just don’t know. Still, it’s a great signal to watch out for.
THE TILT AND SMILE
This is a classic and is perhaps the most common of flirting and attraction signals. It indicates a submissive, interested and alluring mood on the part of the woman doing it. Most importantly it is “shorthand” for: “I’ve noticed you and I like what I see. I can’t look away so I’m sneaking another look. My Smile is to let you know I’m feeling good and want you to know it.” Generally the gesture is quite quick and meant to attract attention. If the man doesn’t get it after several attempts then the woman usually gives up on him as “just too stupid to mate with”.
THE NECK STROKE
The neck is one of a woman’s most sensitive and erogenous zones and touching it will attract a man’s attention. Why does this work? Well, apparently, men are attracted to soft smooth female skin and the neck is the most socially acceptable to display. Smooth skin is a reliable indicator of both youth and health – critical factors when a male is “hunting” a mate. The neck is also a very sensitive part of the female body and touching it stimulates a gentle, soothing and loving sensation. Try it for yourself.
This signal is about interest and focus. By turning the knees and legs towards a man, a woman is using female body language to indicate the person in which she is currently interested – thus creating a personal space triangle. The outer legs also present a barrier to others who may intrude. Translated, this signal means: “You are the person I am focusing on.” Legs and knees that point away are a bad sign – particularly if the knees are aiming at a door. In a sense they become a barrier to the nearby person and an invitation to others. The more leg exposed the more sexual the signal.
THE WOMB GESTURE
To the right is a picture of a woman wearing an average pair of jeans and yet the way she has placed her hands is a powerful “turn-on” for some men. The reason is that her hands are creating a frame for her Vagina. Although sometimes mistaken for “male” gesture, her hands are actually “spelling-out” what’s on her mind. Her female body language is actually saying: “This is the part of me that I want you to notice. I’m telling you that this area of my body is available for the right man!” It is a confident signal indicating aggressive sexual availability.
THE SHOE DANGLE
Reading a female’s use of shoes and her feet as part of her body language could fill a book on its own. We may later dedicate an entire page to this form of subtle communication. The Shoe Dangle is a strong but subtle message to a man. Translated it says: “By half slipping off my shoe I’m indicating that I am relaxed, comfortable and may be willing to undress further.” Also, for many men (even those that won’t admit it), the female foot is (strangely) attractive. Women worldwide spend Billions of Dollars on footwear and pedicures and they do it for a reason!
OBJECT TOUCHING / STROKING
Psychologists believe that people often transfer inner feelings to external objects. So by stroking the stem of a wine glass (for example) a woman is using female body language to say “stroke me”. By running her a pen across her lips she is saying “kiss me”. These female body language signals should not be confused with “agitation” gestures that indicate that the woman would rather be somewhere else. The difference is in the speed with which they are performed. Slow and sensual is good – fast and “jerky” is bad. Wine glasses, table ornaments, sun glasses and pens are common objects used for “toying”.
This is both subtle and obvious at the same time. Essentially it means: “I’m stroking and touching myself because I’d really like to be stroked and touched by you”. Also, by touching herself in this way a woman draws a man’s attention to those erogenous zones that she thinks are her best assets and will appeal to him. Thighs, neck and ankles are all favourites. It is fair to say that women are very aware of the way that this subconsciously affects men and will do it deliberately. Where it is subconscious it is a truly reliable indicator of a woman’s feelings.
Things to be noted …
Contrary to what you may have read elsewhere about reading female body language, there is no sure-fire way of perfectly understanding these courtship gestures every time. Women may project them consciously (and sometimes just for sport), or they may be totally unaware of what their bodies are saying. A woman may even show physical interest through her body language because she subconsciously wants to be desired while actually rejecting a suitor because she is consciously aware that she is married. This is self reassurance behaviour.
Reading female body language also requires a high degree of honesty on the part of the man. Many men overreact to simple signals or, because of their desire to be successful, actually see signals that are not really there. One simple and fantastic piece of advice when reading female body language is to take it nice and easy. If her signals are subtle and understated then a man’s responses should be just as balanced. If hers fade away then her interest has been lost – if they increase then it’s safe for a man to respond in equal measure.
However, before exploring the progression of signals it is vital to be able to recognise some of the basics. For most men “seeing” even the most simple of signals can be challenge. Fear of rejection is the reason. This page should help with reading female body language.