Flirting Tips for Men – Part Two
Barbie Doll & Action Man (G I Joe) are the some of the most successful toys sold by the Mattel Corporation (TM). They make many millions of dollars each year from their sales. Being smart, you’ll notice that they weren’t called Geeky Doll and Boring Man. If you want to understand the “stereotypical male and female” sex symbols then take a look at these toys.
BARBIE & ACTION MAN
Action man is dark, fit, muscular and an adventurer. Barbie Doll is lithe, fit, has prominent breasts and is blonde. (The name was very sexy in the late 50’s and also the name of the inventor, Ruth Handler’s, daughter) Based on her measurements, if she really existed, she’d make the average centrefold model look flat-chested.
Ken – Barbie’s on-off boyfriend, is a somewhat less-rough version of Action Man. In short, he’s an androgynous non-threatening stereotype for young girls. Perhaps post 50’s people would be less confused today if the makers of these toys had included plastic genitals.
What’s the point? The point is that these toys work because they subconsciously appeal to very young people who recognise them as winning formulas in the flirting and mating game. Just ask yourself how many blonde women dye their hair dark? How many men wish they had fewer muscles? Generalisations? Yes. Stereotypes? Of course. True? Definitely!
So … Who do you think Barbie really wanted? (Notice that both men have blue eyes and dark hair)
Don’t sweat it! No … we really mean don’t sweat it – nervousness causes unpleasant sweating. For most men (you’re not alone) this is the hardest part. Men feel as if everyone is watching them and waiting to see if they score or bomb out. Adrenaline is flooding their bodies causing them to experience the masculine “Fight or Flight” response to stressful situations. Of course – the problem is that meeting a woman is neither. As with everything in life, the more you do it the less stressful it becomes. Adrenaline is a catch-22 hormone. It prepares men for action but can also make you appear rigid (not in that way) and awkward. The more approaches you make the more relaxed you’ll become. So what if the first 10 women laughed you off – who cares! The world is full of sexy beautiful women. Remember the golf game – nobody, especially you, should expect to win the first time you play. According to General Taurusian Von scheißen just do the math. There are more than 60,000 nightclubs around the world. On any night each of these nightclubs has at least 25 single and available women inside. That means that each year more than 547,500,000 (half a billion) women are waiting to meet somebody special. In short you can screw up 547, 499,999 times before you run out of opportunities. Yes … it is B.S. but we hope that it gets the point across. You actually have very little to lose by losing as long as you have the guts to try again.
One last thought on this subject is this: The motto of the SAS, the most feared airborne commando unit in the world, is “Who Dares, Wins!” It’s not “Take Care and don’t lose” Says it all really!
HUMOUR – MAKE THE LADIES LAUGH – BUT NOT AT YOU
Women are generally very attracted to men that can make them laugh. You could read a book on this and why it works and still not completely understand it. In short, psychologists claim that laughter releases “feel good” hormones that are very similar to sexual hormones and this makes a woman attracted to the man that is causing her to feel the way she does. This could well be true! Everyone knows a guy who is seriously overweight and definitely no longer handsome but can take his pick of the single women he meets just because he always makes them laugh. Sometimes he tells jokes, sometimes he teases them but eventually he gets what he wants. It’s a rare skill.
Really! Make them laugh.
DON’T COME ON TOO STRONG
If there is one thing that all women have an issue with it’s their fear of desperate guys. Desperate guys are a big, big turnoff. Life is too short to try and understand why but guys that “try-to-hard” are definitely on the scrap heap before they even rev up the motor. Guys actually feel the same about girls. If you don’t get what we’re telling you then watch the music video “Too Fly for a White Guy” by the band “Offspring” or listen to the song “Some Girls Try to Hard” by “Blink 182” . You should be interested in her but not so into this contact that the girl suddenly starts thinking, “Am I the first girl that this guy has talked to in his life?”
She has to believe that you’ll walk away at any time if you feel like it. Maybe girls like a challenge? Maybe they don’t want what any other girl could have had. Who the hell knows exactly, but wise up – “Too keen and you’re a has been”.
MATCHING THE PACE
This is where the guys often go wrong. You recognised the signals and acted. You talked, she talked and you’ve got stuff in common. (A good thing) You made her laugh. Your body language is right and so is hers and then you moved too fast (or not at all) and blew it. Does this sound familiar?
So she touched your hand? This wasn’t a signal to jump the table and try and stick your tongue down her throat. Here’s the rule – match the pace that she sets. Mimic her body language without making it obvious. It’s a game guys and she wants to see if you know the rules. If she’s moving slow then take it easy. If she’s going fast then don’t wimp out and back off. If she leans forward then so do you. If she accidentally touches you then you need to respond at the same pace. This is the warm up before the game.
Oh, by the way, if she’s moving really, really, really slow then find someone else. Even if it works out then you’re letting yourself in for a world of frustration – maybe decades of it. Girls should have just the same level of sex-drive that guys have. They just use it differently. If it’s too, too slow then it’s a no go. Do yourselves a favour and find someone else!
Body pointing is powerful Mojo (body language magic involving the soul or your very life force). Make sure that your body faces (points) towards hers. She should be pointing hers towards you. This achieves two things. Firstly it excludes other people (men and women) that might interfere and secondly, it shows readiness and attraction.
People that have an affinity for each other tend to subconsciously mimic each others body language. Affinity means liking each other. This is pure body language wizardry. You can gain an edge by making sure that you’re body language mimics hers but don’t be stupid and make it obvious. This means not copying her every move but rather using similar body language in general – say a minute later.) Just remember, she’s just as smart as you are – maybe more. God help two people that have both read this and then meet each other.
MORE USEFUL FLIRTING TIPS
Look at her mouth but don’t ignore her eyes
As you talk don’t be afraid to look at her mouth. Watch her lips move as she speaks. Most women can sense when a man starts looking at their mouth and know that this is a subconscious desire to kiss them. This is a powerful flirting tip for men. It shows desire, sincerity and hunger for them. Still, don’t be so obvious that she thinks that you have a lipstick fixation. With effort, tear your eyes away from her lips and meet her eyes. Look deep and passionately into her soul. She’ll love this. Very Hot!
Don’t be Afraid to Blink
The rule is that the more that a person blinks the more stimulated they’ll find themselves. By blinking yourself you’ll trigger her to start blinking too. If things are going well then her blink rate will start to match yours. The more she blinks, the more she is going to feel attracted to you. Please don’t overdo this. If you sit there batting your eyelids like some neurotic psycho then she’s going to run a mile. This is definitely a case of “less is more”. Use it wisely.
The Eyebrow Flash
Eyebrows and what they do are a micro-tell. Both women and men just can’t help lifting them when they see someone they’re attracted too. The problem is that this body language subtle and is often done in less than a microsecond. You’ll need to be a pro to recognise this.
Keep her Talking
Women do talk more than men. Here’s the truth – women want to understand the world – Men want to change it. Understanding requires explanation – words. Change requires action. Let her talk. As she talks the more comfortable she will feel with you. Still, don’t let her forget why you’re there with her. You want a mate. You’re not her psychiatrist. Talking is good but too much of it is bad. If you allow her to use you as a listening post then you’re a girlfriend or at least someone who’s sliding into the ‘Friendzone’. Gently focus her, on the moment and the reason you’re together. This is a really good time to use your humour skills. Make her laugh. Get her talking about the moment – after all the moment is you.
Don’t try and fix her – She’s not broken
Women are extremely casual about self-disclosure. This means telling you about themselves and their issues. For a man this can be scary stuff – way too much information. Surf it as you would a wave. As a man you’ll instinctively want to “sort-out” the problem. Here’s a tip guys. Women don’t think like you do. Women don’t want to be fixed. They want to see how you respond. If you try and fix their issues then you’re a girlfriend. If you have the strength to continue focusing on her as a sexual person then you’re a potential mate. This behaviour maybe some kind of test that nobody really has a clue how to explain.
Find the similarities
The science of liking and attraction lists similarities as a very important factor in any relationship. Find things that you have in common – emphasise them. If she says that she really liked the film “Four Weddings and a Funeral” don’t tell her you thought it was a load of sentimental crap. If she tells you that fashion is a retrospective statement of inner desires don’t laugh, grab your balls and say. “So is my ass!” For a start she may be right.
Just remember – she is probably looking for a relationship while you are probably just looking for sex. She knows that similarities mean agreement while the opposite means division. The good news for you guys is that as a relationship develops both men and women are prepared to accept fewer similarities. In fact, some of the best relationships develop between people that are quite opposite – but not in the beginning.
Women feel comfortable disclosing things about themselves and expect you to do the same. They may tell you about the things that worry them – this is allowed. It makes them vulnerable. You can’t do this. For God’s sake never tell them you have issues or problems. You have to project the appearance that you have the world in your hands. You could say that this is a trap. They want to see if you’re really a well-adjusted, well-off, alpha male. If they tell you that they have an issue, you tell them you you’ve just succeeded at something. They’re projecting vulnerability but you’re projecting strength. It may sound like B.S. but it isn’t. Only very disturbed women with mother image complexes want men that have issues.
We just touched on touching but be need to explore this some more. Let’s say that you do like her. She’s good looking, sexy, fit and most importantly, she likes you. What happens next is a very serious flirting (sex) signal and you should only use it if you’re ready. The body language you’re going to use is the accidental touch. Consciously or subconsciously you let a part of your body touch hers. It might be that your leg rests against hers as you adjust your posture or that you reach out and touch her hand as she says something sexy or appealing. Whatever the circumstances – you’ve made body contact. A normal, well adjusted, girl will respond in equal measure. Contact!
If she ignores the tentative touch then she’s not ready or maybe an amateur when it comes to the flirting game. If she overreacts and tries to grab your balls then she’s either seriously desperate or very horny. Try not to take advantage of desperate women – at best you’ll hurt them and at worst they’ll come back and boil your bunny. (Fatal Attraction -1987) Nymphomaniacs are another issue for another time.
If you’re comfortable with the way things are going then your touches will become longer and more obviously deliberate. If she’s hot for you then she’ll keep pace with you and do the same. Both your intentions are clear – physical contact is very OK!
No … we can’t just be friends!
We’ll keep this short. If you’re unlucky, or unskilled, then your contact will cool down. She likes you but not in the way you want. No matter how much you want this woman, the moment she says “Let’s be friends” then do this: Leave! You don’t want to be her friend you want to be her lover. Biologically, she’s classed you as a supporter not a mate. We’ll say it again, “leave”. You’re wasting your time. By leaving you might actually gain a second chance. You’ve redefined the game in a dramatic way.
Where to now?
From here on out it is really about how far you go. Perhaps you’ll kiss a few times and agree to meet again or perhaps you’ll wind up in bed together engaged in wild monkey sex. Just remember that the further you want it to go the more body language signals you’ll need to send to each other.
For women this is a much more serious commitment than you’re making. If it all goes wrong then they wind up with a kid and you wind up somewhere else having fun while some rug rat chews (often painfully) on their nipples as they count the stretch marks that your night of passion left them with.
Don’t be the bastard that you’re capable of being. Realize that for a woman to let you into her life she is taking a far bigger risk than you are. She can genuinely sense what kind of person you really are. The “force” is definitely “with” women when it comes to this stuff. She’ll instinctively know if you just want a one-night-stand even if you don’t know that you do. The more you truly believe that you want to be with her, the more likely she is to say yes. We agree … it’s very mystic.
The Morning After
It’s the morning after – you’re sticky, worried about your breath, there’s a funny tingle where there shouldn’t be and your hair looks like a squirrel has been sleeping in it. Don’t wake up, leap out of bed and start dancing round the room chanting, “We did it, we did it!” Never slump your shoulders and say. “This might have been a mistake.” Remember, women compare notes. No matter how scared you are that you had unprotected sex, be cool, loving, and keep on flirting. You may never see her again or you may wind up marrying her but either way she wants to know (believe) that this wasn’t a really bad mistake. Oh and for heavens sake never try and reassure her by telling her that your last VD test was negative.
This is what you do. You’ll either both feel really amazing and have sex again or you’ll feel a little awkward and need some time to reassess where you are. If it’s the latter then you’ll take a shower and give her some personal space to clean her self up and regain her composure. You will tell her what a fantastic time you had and how incredible it was to be with her. You’ll kiss her neck and hold her without grabbing her breasts or bum. You’ll agree to meet her later even if you don’t set an actual time or date.
Make the Effort
Flirting is one of the magic ingredients that makes relationships work. Don’t try and laugh this off. If you do then one day you’ll be sitting in a divorce court, watching your life fall to pieces, and remember that we warned you! Never stop flirting with that one person you eventually love.
We hope that you’ve found Flirting Tips for Men useful.